Thanks Polish Woman. Thanks for finally bringing forth the truth in this matter.

The difference between paying for your girlfriends in the US and the girls you met in Poland is exactly this. They weren’t your girlfriends.

It’s customary in Poland to pay for a girl (even not your girlfriend), but not obligatory (unless she’s your girlfriend), so they gave you a way out. If you insisted they would let you pay. If they insisted again then it’d be a real refusal. They don’t spend time with you to get a free meal, it’s not that they’re starving. They were simply interested in meeting a man from another culture and practicing English. They didn’t plan all their future with you based on one meeting, they just wanted to spend a nice afternoon. Paying for a girl is a way to show her that you appreciated her company. A Polish girl won’t think she was on a date with you just because you paid for her. She won’t feel obliged to sleep with you or anything like that. Of course there are exceptions, but generally a girl doesn’t see a man as more than a mere acquaintance before they move further in a relationship, even if you ask her out daily. She might think you’re just lonely in a foreign country and so she keeps you company.

There’s a similar behaviour in reference to men as well. I.e. if someone invites you to their home for a dinner, barbeque etc and you ask them if you should bring anything they’ll tell you that there’s no need, but in fact no one ever comes with empty hands (flowers for the lady and a bottle for her husband are the usual, if she’s a single lady throwing a party you still should bring a bottle). But it’s not obligatory, no one will throw you out just because you didn’t bring anything, and no one will remember it or hold it against you, because parties are to have fun, and the hosts are the most happy when their guests have fun at their place. It’s just that you won’t feel well as the only one who came with empty hands.