Apparently GL and Rexpat’s theory that Russian women constantly test men extends over to Polish women as well. And apparently these Polish women declining my offer to pay for their food when I took them out to the Rydzyna eatery was actually a test!
Here is what GL wrote to me about this supposed “test”:
Luke you sure as heck should seriously try to pay even if you are out with a group of girls.
If you are one on one with a girl that you are dating then there is absolutely no excuse not to pay.
If your girl objects and you give into her objection then you have failed a major major test in her eyes.
And the worst part is that you will never know you failed it in the first place and just start bumping into invisible walls she’s started to put up around her because you didn’t take command and treat her like a lady.
You completely missed the fact that as a Traditional Woman.. she was trying hard to make it look like she wasn’t out to use you by offering to pay for herself.
And in that EXACT moment she gave you a huge opportunity to demonstrate your manhood, confidence and TRUST in her by you paying the bill and subconsciously telling her.
“No it’s OK I trust you and I know you are not the type of girl who uses men and it’s an honor to spend this time with you so the very least I can do is pick up the tab.”
Get it?
The more discreetly you pay the check the better. Immediately grab the check folder without saying a word and just pay it with Zero Drama before anyone gets a chance to object.
You have much to learn Luke.. especially if you are taking everything in a dating situation so literally and not looking for the deeper meaning and motive in all things.
What’s worse is when you come here and make borderline callous assumptions on these literal things that you are merely seeing..
But not understanding.
And this only shuts down your ability to really learn.
Also Luke please do me a favor..
Next time please place your comment in a more relevant post. Debating about who pays for the check doesn’t really fit in with Mascha’s walk.
Thanks.. GL
So apparently I was supposed to “demonstrate my manhood” by declining the declination and shelling out the cash anyway. And because I didn’t, supposedly these Polish women now had the motivation to shun me and put up “invisible walls” against me. (Oh Noes!)
First of all, in Poland, oftentimes eateries are set up so that you pay upfront, you wait awhile, and then you get your food, rather than paying a tab afterwards. The one in Rydzyna that I went to was set up like that. So my “failure” of the alleged “major major test” actually occured before we even went to sit down. But guess what. If they had seen me as a “failure”, then why would they have stayed there for 3 and a half hours to chat with me (in the bits and pieces of English that they knew) instead of simply coming up with an excuse and “making a split” after finishing the meal?
And as for the claim that I would “bump up” into “invisible walls” that they erected against me, in the 3 and a half hours that I spent with those girls, I truly did not notice a single “invisible wall”. Just smiles, giggles, and their best attempts to speak English with me.
Anyway, I know what a “Traditional Woman” is. I was in a relationship with one. And I don’t ever remember being “tested constantly”. And I certainly don’t ever remember something silly like paying for a restaurant bill being turned into a “major major test”. In fact, she pretty much did not “test” me at all, as far as I could tell. But hey, maybe I’m stupid, and didn’t notice the secret tests that she was doing on me the whole entire time. (Gasp!)
So it looks like I’ll just have to ask other men who have been in relationships with that same kind of girl (i.e. feminine, demure, etc.) right here in rural Ohio. I personally know two young men that had girlfriends from the rural areas here in Ohio that were just like mine. They graduated last year, but before they did, I had the pleasure of knowing them and their feminine, demure girlfriends. And I knew them well, and I was there in many social situations with them, and I didn’t see those girls “test” their boyfriends, and I didn’t see them put up “invisible walls” around themselves because of some “test” that supposedly existed was supposedly “failed”. Anyway, if all three of us were being tested the entire time, certainly one of the three of us must have noticed something!
……….
I’m going to call those two men up tomorrow, and I’m going to ask them if and how often they were tested by their girlfriends.
I’ll return to this issue when I hear their answers.
When a woman plays tests on me , my reaction is simply “bye,bye” and I ignore her, if a woman plays tests, then she is insecure and that is her problem, I don´t have to put up with crap from immature women, I don´t give a damn about what they think or say, because it changes with the wind , I simply go my way and do what I gota do, everything else is irrelevant.
Simon, once again you are a voice of reason.
I wouldn’t call it a test. It was a simple politeness.
The difference between paying for your girlfriends in the US and the girls you met in Poland is exactly this. They weren’t your girlfriends.
It’s customary in Poland to pay for a girl (even not your girlfriend), but not obligatory (unless she’s your girlfriend), so they gave you a way out. If you insisted they would let you pay. If they insisted again then it’d be a real refusal. They don’t spend time with you to get a free meal, it’s not that they’re starving. They were simply interested in meeting a man from another culture and practicing English. They didn’t plan all their future with you based on one meeting, they just wanted to spend a nice afternoon. Paying for a girl is a way to show her that you appreciated her company. A Polish girl won’t think she was on a date with you just because you paid for her. She won’t feel obliged to sleep with you or anything like that. Of course there are exceptions, but generally a girl doesn’t see a man as more than a mere acquaintance before they move further in a relationship, even if you ask her out daily. She might think you’re just lonely in a foreign country and so she keeps you company.
There’s a similar behaviour in reference to men as well. I.e. if someone invites you to their home for a dinner, barbeque etc and you ask them if you should bring anything they’ll tell you that there’s no need, but in fact no one ever comes with empty hands (flowers for the lady and a bottle for her husband are the usual, if she’s a single lady throwing a party you still should bring a bottle). But it’s not obligatory, no one will throw you out just because you didn’t bring anything, and no one will remember it or hold it against you, because parties are to have fun, and the hosts are the most happy when their guests have fun at their place. It’s just that you won’t feel well as the only one who came with empty hands.
I knew it! I knew it! There was no test! Now GL can’t say that I was tested!! GL was wrong!! Yahoo!!
Thanks Polish Woman. Thanks for finally bringing forth the truth in this matter.